Wow. Christmas in a couple of days. The New Year in a little over a week! Time for reflection indeed!!!

I was reading over the past few posts I made and I have come to realize that I'm *hating* a lot of things. Maybe that's not the right word ... how about *dissatisfied*? eh -- i dunno. I'm not a hater at all, really. Just not very happy I suppose. A lot of things that I've been through this past year are all direct results of things in my total control. Whatever I seem to not be happy with are probably things that I definitely could have changed and avoided. Whatever the case may be, it's neither here nor there -- I just got to look at the new year as another starting point to make things better, right?

In this past year, I moved back home to DC again. Got to know a lot of new people and got to hang with another crowd ~ the *party* crowd that is. Did a lot things* that I shouldn't have done. Been almost caught a few times doing those things*. Actually falling out and waking up in hospital in another city because of partaking in those things*! What?!? Yes -- it's tragic and true. Never again -- that's for sure. I found myself letting down my guard a couple of times when it comes to trying to get romantically involved with someone. The key word being *trying*. Somehow it always tends to be just on my part and then falling apart because things didn't work out the way I wanted them to. Most recently falling for some crackhead player who I thought was playing me but in the long run really is a player who can't help it?!? I dunno. I'm just a mess when it comes to men I suppose. Whatever -- I'm not a hater, remember? What was meant to be was meant to be. I'm sure good things will come to me in the following year. It's mid afternoon and I'm at work on a wet and rainy day. I hate ... erm ... I am *dissatisfied* with my job right now.