i've been away from my (california) home in sooooo long. i think it's been over 35 days or so. it's monday night and i'm in the oakland airport waiting for my flight back to dc again. looks like i'm going to be there for a few weeks-working the ramp at that!!!

came back to SF for IBR with my friend jay from ny. i had a blast. actually attended a few bear events; the parties at least. drama of different levels ensued. what else is new, right? jay, being the tall, yet fabulously skinny korean boy that he is had issues with the fact that no one was paying him any mind. in the big forrest of bears -- he was just a tiny little field mouse (his words, not mine). i think after quite a few shots of jack and lots of beer, he started to break down crying outside the club. i quickly zoomed in and reminded him how NOT fierce that was. he soon came to his senses. i, on the other hand, had a good ol' time. meanwhile -- people still don't notice me either, but hey -- i still had fun (non-chemically induced or otherwise). it's amazing that you just don't see that many dancing bears on the east coast. it must be a california thing. these big ol' boys were having the time of their lives! maybe we can start something new in the east ~~ circuit bears! hmmm.

it was valentine's day this past saturday too. love is an interesting thing. sometimes when you've got it -- you take it for granted. when you want it, though, you can never find it. i think i made my boy down in orlando cry. at least that's he said when i wrote him a valentine's greeting. in it -- i made mention of how my *other* offerings (if that's what you want to call them) haven't panned out to be much more than hook-ups and casual friends i guess. he's been my only *constant* for the past few months albeit a virtual one. maybe he'll be the one. i can only wait for time and fate i suppose.