i had dinner with the roommates this evening. collin decided to cook porkchops and some kind of rice thinggy. it was yummy. considering all of the craziness going on in our little circle of friends, it was quite ironic that all of the members the house i live in were home at the same time and actually sitting down and having a real MEAL! one would have thought in the past that we didn't eat food at all consdering what was (or wasn't) in the refridgerator. all i eat really while at home is just cereal. collin asked what kind of vegetable i would like. my only response was, "i normally eat at mcdonald's! how would i know?" His response was, "Ketchup really isn't a vegetable." "Oh."
this, past weekend was indeed a weekend of revelations. it was (and still is) a test of friendship. during the course of a long discussion on saturday night with someone i know, i have come to the realization that i definitely have an issue with me developing these little *crushes* with my friends. we really couldn't pinpoint where and why this happens but i can safely deduce that it usually occurs when i start feeling comfortable with them. after i get to know someone and start spending more time with them, emotions come into play and i end up getting lost in there somewhere. i do have the sense not to act on these *crushes* as most of them would probably end in disaster. it happened the first time back in the fall and literally made me CRAZY and SKETCHY to the n'th degree! i'm really good friends with this person now and appreciate him on a much more higher level. it's happened again more recently with someone else. it didn't get to the point where i needed to be committed or anything, but i've grown to actually figure out how to spot it. the key, now, is to figure out or be able to differentiate what these feelings are. it just seems so crazy that at 37, i'm just now trying to figure out shit like this. i've never really been in love before. going back, again, to one of the internal conflicts of my immediate social circle -- it just makes me wonder if it's really worth falling in love with someone. i may just seems a bit jaded, but what do i have to look forward to?
this, past weekend was indeed a weekend of revelations. it was (and still is) a test of friendship. during the course of a long discussion on saturday night with someone i know, i have come to the realization that i definitely have an issue with me developing these little *crushes* with my friends. we really couldn't pinpoint where and why this happens but i can safely deduce that it usually occurs when i start feeling comfortable with them. after i get to know someone and start spending more time with them, emotions come into play and i end up getting lost in there somewhere. i do have the sense not to act on these *crushes* as most of them would probably end in disaster. it happened the first time back in the fall and literally made me CRAZY and SKETCHY to the n'th degree! i'm really good friends with this person now and appreciate him on a much more higher level. it's happened again more recently with someone else. it didn't get to the point where i needed to be committed or anything, but i've grown to actually figure out how to spot it. the key, now, is to figure out or be able to differentiate what these feelings are. it just seems so crazy that at 37, i'm just now trying to figure out shit like this. i've never really been in love before. going back, again, to one of the internal conflicts of my immediate social circle -- it just makes me wonder if it's really worth falling in love with someone. i may just seems a bit jaded, but what do i have to look forward to?
posted by Unknown at 1:50 AM
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