3:08 am Sunday -- home ... ALONE ... and *KraK* free all weekend long! that in itself is amazing feat i must say! {{pat's oneself on the back}} I NEED A BUMP NOW! {j/k} ;-)

it's the end of daylight savings time and we've got an extra hour on our hands. i worked coatcheck at the bar tonight. i checked a whopping 11 items tonight. made a total $20. take away the $8 for the cab ride home ... ahh! they say it's only going to get better. i hung out a bit at the other bar waiting to cash out and come to realize that lesbians scare me. most especially drunk ones most likely heightened mentally on other substances especially when YOU'RE NOT! i love my lesbian sisters and all, but drunk ones! i thought i had enough to deal with the drunk men at the bar i work at. my highpoint of the evening came with i spotted a gentleman in a nun's costume --- twirling around the bar suddently going out of control hitting a wall and then falling down! mind you there are black lights galore in the frong hallway and this *nun* was in all white! a whirling mess to say the least! all 3 employees at the door and the ENTIRE bar just stared for a brief (more than a few) moment(s). too much for words, really.

i really hope my friend jay is enjoying himself. i wasn't around to carry on with him this weekend, but i know how much he enjoys hanging around dc. in his brief visits here, he's made quite a name of himself and is almost a character in his own right. you go on and work it out jay!

still trying to get over this crazy cold / cough / flu thinggy i got ~~ that EVERYONE's getting. not so much having the fever and stuff -- it's the cough that's getting to me. ick. i hate being sick. i'm actually supposed to try to make it into work today to catch up on some payroll work before the big office/gate move at the airport. i don't think that's going to happen today.

oh yeah -- other people out there actually read this! hmm -- i know i put all of this shit out for the WORLD to see, but when you actually get feedback from actual acquaintances of yours, it's kinda weird.

i hate being *sick*. i was actually in bed for the last 24 hours! not cute at all. was supposed to go to the miss adams morgan pageant tonight with the boys -- something came up with being short a ticket so i gave mine up to let david, i think have it. i'll just work the coatcheck at omega tonight. might as well make money than spend it, right?

lunar eclipse tonight. wow -- it's the first time i've ever seen one! luckily it's a nice and clear night.

absolutely HATE my job now. the people, the situations, the things i have to go through for my measily $38K. i really can't complain tho. i get paid a lot of money to do a whole lot of nothing really -- i'm a paper pusher. at least i'm not outside loading luggage in the weather anymore or dealing with the crazy freak customers. that's all i really need to say to myself to keep me in check.

Wow -- it's the end of the monday work-day and I'm NOT a shitty mess. Wow! Leaving the office now. Thought I'd share. LOL.

looking back at my dramas this past week -- i've just got to say that i was OUT OF CONTROL! it's all really just something stupid that i got myself wrapped too tightly into. all of this over a boy no less. it's the start of a new weekend -- really gotta keep myself in check. i actually start my new part-time gig at this club tonight. i get to be *coat check girl* for the weekends (friday and saturday nights)! it's a whole different crowd / scene. it'll (hopefully) keep me out of trouble. i hope.

oh yeah - i think i'm okay now. i'm cruising the rampers and construction workers at the airport again. LOL.

erm ... i just heard a series of gun shots outside my house. WOW -- the cops just came. lovely. at least the response time was in less than 5 minutes!

people are noticing that i'm acting different. the mood in the house is a bit down too. josh finally got a real job and is dead set on starting anew. collin's got a new gig as well, but he's looking really ragged these days. not sure if it's the work or tina or what. the other mike (our resident dj) is also on his way out. for the better i hope -- we took him in a few weeks ago until he could get back on his feet, he sorta took a nudging by colling to get him moving. i could care less, but it seems (or is perceived) that he is part of my *problem* -- whatever that may be. i gotta finish some work and walk around the airport -- i'm falling asleep at my desk.

As an addendum to yesterday. Feeling a little better ... mentally. Feeling like shit ... physically. This is definitely the start of a *new* me. I've gotta cut down on the fun. Running myself ragged during the weekend - and for what?!? The events yesterday had me emotionally breaking down at work and having deep down discussions with a friend via email all the while trying to finish payroll for my crew here at the airport! Not cute. I finished, but not until after 10 pm. My so called boy problems were just me being sketchy. Definitely NOT cute. I was just thinking way too deep into it all. It's probably best that I just keep to myself and away from the group a bit.

FUCKING MESS. I'm just a fucking mess right now.

the end of another party weekend. dj rob harris at apex. yum. dj eddie x at nation. double-yum. closing out at lizard lounge in a bit. i danced my ass off! still a mess with boys. really into this guy lately and i just don't know to move on. eh -- i'll write more about it later.

up all night ... again.

there's a crazy cold that's making it's rounds. needless to say, at least 3 other people in the house have it already! i just got caught up in cleaning up all the photos from the temptation tea parties which eventually led up to cleaning up and compiling the various files on my external hard drive. blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda.

temptation tea -- v3! another success. jay came down for the weekend and carried on. believe it or not he said he's going to save up all of his money and make the trek down to dc to *carry on* and *serve it up*! he's tired of the new york scene. hmm -- we'll see how long that lasts! :-)

this weekend's chain of events was more than eventful. the sketch-factor escalated to it's highest ever i think. from the erm ... pseudo police raid on the house (they had the wrong address?!?) to the double dose of dj yiannis in the clubs to the triple club hop on sunday evening/monday morning to ... my crazy boy problems or lack thereof!

collin gave me the task of trying to put a website together. since i've become the unofficial-official photographer of sorts, i should make the effort, right? i think i need to start working!

i'm coming OUT ... again!?!

this month is national coming out month or something. i guess i'm *out* per se. i know that i don't go out of my way to show people that i'm not! the real story, though, is how important is it to actually be *out* to your parents? i officially came out being gay to my mom in an email a couple of years ago. to tell you the truth, i have no idea how that has come across to them or to the rest of my family for that matter as it was never verbally discussed after the fact. let's just say that it was more or less *accepted* but not necessarily *approved*. we still don't talk about it. i'm cool with that for now - it's just a matter of time before anyone of us is ready to confront the issue head on. the reason i bring up this topic now is i find it funny how i normally see coming out as sort of another adolescense. with my transition back into the DC mix of things on a permanent basis in the past six months, i've documented many things about my life that have changed. with the current range of people i interract with these days it's interesting to note that my acquaintance level has increased almost 3-fold. it may seem kinda dumb, but i find great amusement in the fact that when i go out and about here in town, i actually *know* a lot of people -- like all the time. it's kinda scary -- a friend of mine, jay from new york, who visited me a few weeks ago stared in amazement how many people just walked up out of their way just to say, "Hello!". i think in that one club setting that night, i actually knew over 20-30 people. to him, i must've been acting like some kind of sketchy gay socialite or something! LOL. anyway -- the moral of this story is there is no moral! i was very much the introverted type who would never be caught in a public setting such as a bar or club by myself in the past. these days ... watch out! i'm just a little ol' chatty cathy fluttering about! another friend, keith, says i'm finally coming into my *own* here. whatever that means. maybe this is my 3rd adolescance. maybe i really need to embrace my coming *coming out* into dc social scene with full force. we'll see.

oh yeah. i said NO on the job offer.

party. party. party.

it makes you wonder if that is what my life is centering around now -- where's the next party? just to clarify in this example, though, PARTY = hang out with friends. nothing more or nothing less -- definitions seem be get blurred around here for some reason.

just your typical weekend. friday night started out at apex. the music for some reason was horrid. usually not the case, but i actually had to leave early around 3am. people gradually mosied on over to the house and we had our (almost) weekly after hours event. 10 or 15 people showed up and the die hards stayed until noon or so. of course i had to keep pushing on and spent the afternoon with my friend david uy and went to the movies. saw HERO. loved it --- such a visual masterpiece! right now -- still debating on weather or not i should go to nation and attend the kerry fundraiser night. it's going to be $50 but its going to include live acts like crystal waters, inaya day, kim english, robin s., abigail and rachel pennay. i guess it'll be worth it. the real question in hand, can i really afford it? OF COURSE NOT! what else is new in my life?!?