had a few beers at jr's. the more i think about it -- i'm hating my current situation. i'm more pissed off that this whole thing has taken so long to actually come to end ... and we had to go digging around ourselves to find out about it too! ugh -- there are always good and bad things about the place you work for. this is definitely one of the things that sucks. we just can't get our internal functions in order.

it's official. i didn't get the training job promotion. my boss had to do some digging around and apparently i got some kind of "thanks but no thanks" letter. i'm not terribly worked up by it -- dissappointed, yes; end of the world, no. it just sucks that they just didn't call or anything. i was kind of in limbo with what i should be doing with work and all. well -- now i know. now i think i'll apply for the admin. position that just got posted for the dulles (iad) station. it'll be based here and regular hours, etc. it'll probably end up being a better job. we'll see.

right now -- i have tentative plans to move in with tony. i don't know how it's going to work out. it's a small apartment and i have to actually commute to the airport more than an hour each way.

ooh -- wednesday morning -- i'm still in dc. hmmm. missed the morning flight back to oakland already. looks like i have another 10+ hours to kill until the next one. oh well. i'm hungry. i think me an tony are going to trio's restaurant on 17th street for breakfast. eggs benedict sounds so yummy right now.

addendum to this past weekend ...

sketchy = NOT CUTE

shortly thereafter this previous posting ... i sorta broke down and got all *emotional* about EVERYTHING. life. love. my lack of love in my life. just general random craziness. since everyone in the apartment was still asleep, i needed to vent and started writing emails galore to people i knew and even to people i didn't know. i wrote a fan letter to a local dj. i wrote a crazy freaky almost psycho love letter to some boy in orlando i hardly know. i surfed circuit party websites. right after that -- around 8am -- i fell out myself and was knocked out until about lunch time. in general -- i was just a mess.

right after noontime, i ended up hanging out with my old buddy david from my days at the blade. he works for another gay publication in town and had to run a few errands before we went off for lunch at chevy's in pentagon city. after talking for a while -- i've come to realize that he's one of the oldest friends that i actually still keep in close contact with ~~ a little over 10 years! it was nice seeing him and catching up as well.

david had to leave and i just passed a little more time at the mall and looked around. my old roommate glen got me into this fabulous lotion by kiehl's: DELUXE HAND & BODY LOTION WITH ALOE VERA & OATMEAL "POUR HOMME". of course i had to pick up an 8oz - $18 bottle at nordstrom's. having an intense need to buy skin care products -- I TRULY AM GAY! i also sampled a few new cologne scents at sephora. nothing really interesting there. after that, i headed onto the up against the wall store of all places. i noticed that they actually sold evisu jeans. the REAL ones that is that ranged from $325 - $750! they are supposedly japanese made and produced by hand by antique looms, etc., etc. another thing glen got me into -- apparently a huge thing in the UK and europe and for some reason, the hip-hop/rap community here in the us. i have about 4 pairs myself. i sure as hell didn't pay that much for them though. my only real connection was through ebay and they ranged from about $75 - $120 max for me. i just had to see what the difference was and how you could tell if mine were fake or not. to tell you the truth -- you couldn't really tell at all. since no one around here knows what they are really -- i'll just keep the secret to myself. :-) i'll post a pic of their logo another day.

i ended up the day going back to tony's and breaking down again ... supposedly another after effect of my *party* mode this weekend. there's a whole wallow in self pity series of moments that occur to those who go through this. that plus the splitting headache i had all day. it sucks! we both regained ground and headed onto jr's for a beer and pizza at cpk in dupont circle. voila. the official end of my super fabulous, yet crazy weekend. i'm not going to do this again for a LONG, LONG time.


oh yeah -- i seemed to have gotten off on the hyperlinks in this blog. here's another bonus - a picture of me and tony in his place during a better and happier and NOT sketchy time a few weeks ago. my cousin rolando took the picture on his new picture phone. i haven't posted any pictures here in quite a while. i'll try to be more descriptive in my postings in the future.

sitting here in tony's apartment ... everyone is asleep. i'm not. sketchville for me!!! meanwhile -- i had a blast this weekend. tony's b-day on saturday. after that was victor calderone at nation. after that was sunday mass at club five. after that was an after-after pre-party for cherry weekend. needless to say, my dance ticket was quite full.

this week was quite interesting ... that is, not that eventfull, but just full of activities. got here in dc to actually find something to do. work is kind of slow and nothing official in terms of traveling work assignments. since it was going to be tony's birthday -- i decided to just head on over here anyway. i ended up just working most of the days in whatever capacity they needed me in. i'm supposed to go home tuesday, but i think i'm just going to put it off until wednesday. after that -- i've got to get cracking with work and all. i'm really not sure about the training job i applied for -- it's been over 2 weeks since my interview. no news as of yet.

was able to get a ride from a coworker from the airport to the city. we had to pick up his girlfriend and once we got to where she was to be picked up, i decided to walk the 10+ blocks to tony's house and enjoy the nice spring evening. it was actually quite pleasant and the stroll through the city made me think how much i missed dc. i will probably ALWAYS find a way to come back *home*. meanwhile -- i'm seriously thinking of scenarios on when & why i'd actually move back here. firstly -- it'll probably be because of work. secondly -- no matter how far i go, i always end up coming back anyway. i guess that's just my own personal destiny.

i really, really love working for the company i work for. just like with most things, it just get trying at times dealing with the same things day in and day out. i've been with them for about 2-1/2 years and have essentially done the same physical type of work since then. granted, i do MORE things in MORE places than i used to, but it's all but routine now. i'm ready for a change. this whole promotion i'm trying to go for just taking way too long to come into play. this whole ordeal started way back in mid-january. i finally got interview 2 weeks ago, and i'm still awaiting an answer. the way things work out internally -- i can't apply for more than one position at a time. as a result, i'm kind of in limbo. not faulting our own human resources people and procedures, but it just sucks! what if i were to see something of more interest that i may want to apply for as well? by proper procedures -- i simply cannot proceed one bit until the other issue is resolved!!! i'm just ranting now.

tony's party is in just a few days -- i can't wait.

bobby brown + whitney houston. bless their hearts. looks like bobby brown is back in jail AGAIN after just getting out a few days ago. this time it's because he can't afford to pay $68K + in back child support. hmmm - i thought *crack* was cheap.

back to me now ... standing here at the gates in dulles airport -- just got done with our fort lauderdale flight. customers are just plain ol' crazy! nothing out of the ordinary -- it just always seems that this particular flight requires the most effort to deal with passenger/customerwise. in this case -- people not listening to boarding instructions (we use both doors of the aircraft and people in the back are asked to climb up and down 2 flights of stairs); people not happy with their seats; people just not sitting down; loud and crying kids; and people simply just complaining about nothing!!! i could only imagine how our new york - fort lauderdale flights are! just the other day we had to make a diversion on a new york - fort lauderdale flight because 2 brothers were FIST FIGHTING midflight!!! oh well - life in the customer service industry.

back in dc. after about 2+ weeks without working, i guess i should start doing some, right? hmmm -- the thing is i'm not sure what i should be doing right now. my position is still in *flux* and nothing is official as to where my next assignment(s) are to be worked. still awaiting for the reply on the training promotion that i went for a few weeks ago. got a reply that they're still working out the details - whatever that means.

in one of my spurts of supposed *deep thought* - i've come to realize that i just go on and on and on here about nothing. oh well.

it's sunny and going to be in the upper 70s today. i don't care. i'm going shopping.

i'm finally back home in oakland. it's warm. like somewhere in the mid 70's or something. it was near snow temp/weather in dc when i left this morning! no wonder i'm getting sick.

as i said in my earlier BLOG -- i got tonsilitis of all things in my course of travels, et. al. still awaiting word on my interview from last week. we were supposed to get some kind of response by this past monday. hmm. that could be a good OR a bad thing. i guess i'll just wait until next monday to make any official inquiries. i'm actually thinking about taking 6 months leave of absence. meanwhile -- i guess i should as if that's allowed at all, right?

i'm dying for a long nap right now, but the only way i can get my internal clock(s) to sync up is to fuck with them. i may just take a nice shower and hop on down to the city to buy some extension cords and shit for the computer.

i'm really trying to make myself use and understand my new pda phone doohicky. i got it from ebay a few weeks ago and just got it up and running the day i left for dc last week. it's kind of a pain, but it's just a new little toy i need to concentrate on i guess. since i'm using this old computer with windows 98, i don't have the proper version of outlook to make sure my names and addresses sync up with each other. argh. more money i need to spend i guess.

... from 9:31am pst (on the plane from dulles to oakland)...


Right now somewhere over utah. Getting antsy in my chair. Frog in my throat-still recovering from the crazy tonsilitis craziness from earlier this week. I cant believe how easy & hard i get sick. It totally sucks having to go thru all the symptoms. i just hope i will get through it all ok.

Im kinda glad that i am going to back into my regular "thing". First of all i need to get paid! Living off my big stock sale was fun and all but not practical. The louis v. Wallet was the major guilty pleasure though! The updated wardrobe was sort of a necessity too. Okay-time to focus... How about working out?!? Eww, that might be a dirty word right now (meanwhile, why was i seriously thinking about the aids run sf in hawaii while at wendy's?).

ok this whole planeful of people is just a bit too chummy. Why does everyone know everyone else? weird-inquiring minds want to know.

I gotta pee now.

i'm finally getting my ass moving and attempting to start packing for my trip HOME. uh -- why do i have almost 20 pairs of pants and jeans with me??!!?? let's not mention the 12 pairs of shoes? i know, i did buy a few pairs along the way, but i'm such a mess.